Posts Tagged‘no fear’

The Day I Stopped Being Afraid

No Fear

I’ve been a worrier for as long as I can remember. Being controlled by my fears has been my biggest struggle for my entire life. When I was younger I was scared of the dark, scared of monsters under my bed, pretty normal kid stuff. As I’ve gotten older, I’m not scared of things going bump in the night, but of things my troubled heart has deemed worthy of fear: car and plane accidents, illness, the loss of loved ones, strangers with bad intentions, you name it. Now that I’m a mother, my fears are heightened and centered on my children. I fear for them in so many ways: I worry about the world they will grow up in, their spiritual futures, their health, that they might be bullied, that they might not feel loved or accepted in all the ways they need, everything. I worry about unspeakable things that might happen because of the sinful nature of man. The unexpected loss of my husband’s baby sister Erin in the summer of 2014 made the worst, unspoken fears of an entire family a reality. For seven weeks she was missing. For seven weeks we called out to God. We prayed that he would protect her wherever she was. We prayed that he would bring her home to us. We prayed without ceasing that our greatest fears weren’t true. Eventually, we prayed He would lead the police and search and rescue teams to her. And He did. Erin’s body was found…