Posts Tagged‘confession’

Elf on the Shelf Planning Calendar: Lazy Mom Edition

elf on the shelf planning calendar

I’ve got another confession to make: I’m a lazy mom. Ok, maybe lazy isn’t the correct word…uninspired, non-creative, Left Brained….whatever it is, I’m TERRIBLE at Elf on the Shelf. I’m not the mom who spends all day coming up with delightfully creative schemes for the family elves to perform at night; I’m the mom who sets an alarm so she doesn’t forget to move the dang thing at all. To help myself, and others like me, I created an Elf on the Shelf Planning Calendar: Lazy Mom Edition. The elf shenanigans require less than 5 minutes of staging on the part of the parents but are still cute and entertaining for the littles: winning!  Feel free to take this and make it your own for the needs of your family. I hope that this helps take some of the stress out of this little tradition so many of us take part in. I’d love to hear or see what your elves have been up to! Share with me on Facebook The Stylish Mommy or Instagram @the_stylish_mommy ! Merry Christmas, y’all!  Don’t have an Elf yet? You can get one for CHEAP on Amazon here: This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission if you make a purchase using this link which means you won’t pay any more for the (awesome) product and I receive a little dollars to help keep the lights on 😉

A Letter to My Pre-Parent Self

a letter

Hi perfectly-manicured-well-rested-and-totally-in-control-self, It’s me, well you, urggh…it’s us. Just a slightly less know-it-all, slightly heavier you. I’m here to fill you with a little humor and a lot of truth as you embark on this parenting journey. But first, let me start by saying what your friends and family are too polite to say, “shut up!” Seriously, just shut up. Shut up with your parenting expectations and declarations of “my baby will never”. Yes, I know that you have read every.single.parenting book that ever existed and that you are a generally intelligent person, but you truly know nothing about what is about to happen to your life. You might know how to swaddle, do some kegals, and decorate a nursery, but you really know nothing about what your life (all of it- mind, body, and soul) will be like when you’re handed this baby you’ve been studying for the last 10 months. Parenthood isn’t just a test, it’s a sprint, a marathon, an interview; a lifelong exercise in enduring watching the best part of you toddle around without your constant supervision and support. Parenting is SO much more than you have ever contemplated and you will never, ever know everything (or anything, really) about what you’re doing. But, just to scratch the surface, I’ll start with your top 6 Pre-Parenting Expectations (PPE). You know, the things you’ve carried about like that baby in your belly, nourishing and coddling them with all your pre-parenting knowledge just waiting for the day that…

12 Signs You’ve Married a Cheapskate

Cheapskate

Confession: I’ve married a cheapskate. Keith and I are pretty similar in most ways and are on the same page with how to handle situations at least 90% of the time without even really discussing it. Should I work after having babies? Absolutely. Should we make popcorn after dinner? DUH. Should we buy the Corvette we’re both coveting? Not practical. Should we quit our great jobs in Knoxville and move to Texas? Sure, why not? Should we spend the extra $0.99 and upgrade to Guacamole with our Fajitas? *crickets* You see, we seem to differ fiscally in ways that I could have never anticipated. We are both UBER planners and therefore have budgets and sub-budgets for everything. We can stick to these plans with no issue but the actual spending of the money in each of these budget lines is actually painful for my husband. So we come to the issue at hand: which small investments are worth making for the sake of lifestyle and which ones are worth sacrificing for the sake of saving? I will be the first to admit that 99% of the time I am in the SPEND IT, EXPERIENCE IT camp. I want the guacamole, I want ALL THE THINGS in the Dollar Bin at Target, I want the $3 matching bow for Annabelle’s clothes. To me, this makes me a barganista…I would spend multiple dollars on the crap in the Target bin if I shopped elsewhere. The bow for Annabelle’s outfit, it would cost…

Fantasy Football Confession: I’m a Sore Loser

Fantasy Football Confession

Guys, I’m going to be honest, I’m way too competitive. Not just in the sense that I want to win Monopoly or a game of volleyball. I’m constantly competing with anyone – even strangers- who have the terrible luck of running into me on a given day. Just going to the grocery store is an array of game playing for me. I make a grocery list that has everything in order of store layout. There is no going back and forth through the produce section just to make it to the milk aisle and notice I forgot the asparagus. When I see others doubling back to pick up something they forgot, I earn a point for efficiency.  I play “who will checkout faster” with people in the other lines. If I make it to the Exit while they’re still arguing with the cashier about the validity of their coupon, I win. They don’t even know we’re playing this game. I try to jump off the line when the light turns green before the driver next to me even notices it changed. I am always the last to order at a restaurant because I can’t stand the idea of someone ordering something better than me. I can’t help it. The compulsion to be “winning” follows me everywhere! Why, then, would anyone ever ask someone so annoyingly absurdly competitive to participate in the ultimate 4 month long competition that is Fantasy Football? Probably because I’m absolutely terrible at the whole gimmick and…