When we first learned that I was pregnant with Annabelle I had just turned 23, putting me squarely in the “young mom” category and also instantly categorizing me as the first of my close friends to have a baby. Most of my friends were barely married or out of grad school and nowhere near being “baby ready” so I spent a great deal of time thinking about what little I would have in common with them after the baby came. I was sooo worried that they would be bored with my new, motherly life and leave me behind in their fabulous dust. Since the arrival of Lady A, and 13 months later, Graham, my friendships have only grown stronger. I have found out exactly what happens when you’re the first of your friends to have kids…and it’s pretty awesome!
These are my top 5 reasons why being the first mom in your group is the bomb:
1.They have no idea if you’re screwing it up
One of the best things about my close friends not yet being moms is that they have absolutely no idea if I’m practicing voo-doo magic on my children so they support every decision I make 100%.
Oh, swaddling your child until they’re one is a thing? Cool!
Putting your newborn son in smocked, monogrammed clothes is in? Sounds good.
It’s normal for them to take off their diapers and pee in the crib? Whatever you say…
Breastfeeding is a gift from God? You go, girl!
Breastfeeding is from the devil? Give that baby a bottle!
My friends who don’t yet have babies- even my BFF who just finished med school to become a pediatrician- just assume that I know what I’m doing and have ALWAYS made the correct, best decision. It’s pretty awesome
2.They listen to (and actually kind of enjoy) all the gross and terrifying moments during your pregnancy
People who have already have kids have NO DESIRE to listen to you whine about how terrible pregnancy is and they also don’t really want to look at your first sonogram picture 2049592 times trying to help you decide “is that little thing right there a penis or an elbow?”
People without kids LOVE this stuff.
“You think your WHAT plug is in the toilet? Send me a pic!”
3.They’re just as excited as you are…because none of you have any idea what you’re getting into
My kid-less friends loved playing Name the Baby, sent me parenting articles, and wanted to FaceTime while I was in labor. I’m the closest thing they’ve ever been to pregnancy and their curiosity was intense.
“I can’t wait to SQUEEZZEEEEEEEEE that baby”
“Your pregnancy skin is amazing. Which prenatals are you taking?”
“I want to buy the baby some outfits. How many tutus are too many?”
Coworkers and relatives who already had kids never, not even once asked me questions like this. They were all about the business.
“When is your due date?”
“Make sure you get the epidural”
“Make sure you get enough sleep beforehand”
4.Your kids will have the undivided love and adoration of all their bonus aunts and uncles
When your baby is the first baby in the group, they are EVERYONE’s baby. My friends routinely request pictures of the kids (or steal them off my social media) to show off to their other friends and coworkers or to post to their own social media accounts
“Auntie Cort’s #MCM goes out to #monstergraham…again!”
“OMG look at my best friend’s baby. Is she not the cutest? I know, she should totally be a baby model.”
“WHY ARE YOUR KIDS SO CUTE? They make me want one…kinda. Like in ten years”
Don’t get me wrong, our relatives with kids love our babies and totally think they’re the cutest ever…but their hearts and newsfeeds are already too full with their own kids for mine to be the stars.
5.One by one, your friends will turn to you for advice
Slowly but surely, each of your kid-less friends will fall pregnant and they will, of course, turn to your expert advice (remember, according to them, you can do no wrong). Of course, they will find their own parenting legs like you did, and you will now have a NEW baby in need of all those tutus and swaddles.