12 Signs You’ve Married a Cheapskate

Cheapskate

Confession: I’ve married a cheapskate.

Keith and I are pretty similar in most ways and are on the same page with how to handle situations at least 90% of the time without even really discussing it.

Should I work after having babies? Absolutely.

Should we make popcorn after dinner? DUH.

Should we buy the Corvette we’re both coveting? Not practical.

Should we quit our great jobs in Knoxville and move to Texas? Sure, why not?

Should we spend the extra $0.99 and upgrade to Guacamole with our Fajitas? *crickets*

You see, we seem to differ fiscally in ways that I could have never anticipated. We are both UBER planners and therefore have budgets and sub-budgets for everything. We can stick to these plans with no issue but the actual spending of the money in each of these budget lines is actually painful for my husband. So we come to the issue at hand: which small investments are worth making for the sake of lifestyle and which ones are worth sacrificing for the sake of saving?

I will be the first to admit that 99% of the time I am in the SPEND IT, EXPERIENCE IT camp. I want the guacamole, I want ALL THE THINGS in the Dollar Bin at Target, I want the $3 matching bow for Annabelle’s clothes. To me, this makes me a barganista…I would spend multiple dollars on the crap in the Target bin if I shopped elsewhere. The bow for Annabelle’s outfit, it would cost $6 if I bought it individually…savings, you see? To Keith, I am the Ultimate Consumer and a total victim of advertising. He’s actually accused me of being willing to buy air if someone bottled it up. What he doesn’t realize is that I have- I have paid for air! Has no one else been to an oxygen bar in Vegas? There’s $40 and 30 minutes I’ll never get back. On the other end of the frugal spectrum we have Keith, who feels like he is winning when he resists what I view as a good deal. If we don’t NEED it and if we haven’t previously planned on purchasing it, we aren’t buying it. Period. Such self-control is astonishing!  But also SO HARD. For someone as impulsive and impatient as I am, his frugalness has, at times, driven me to the edge of insanity. WHY are we continuing to stand in Home Depot while you price check lightbulbs at the 5th site? WHY am I waiting to order my food so that you can check- again- to see if this restaurant has an online coupon? WHY am I not having wine at lunch because you think spending more on a glass at a restaurant than a bottle at home is a problem?

If you are dating, or have already married, someone who sounds similar to Keith, the list below will help determine if you have, in fact, coupled up with a cheapskate:

  1. If your husband actually considers not paying the extra $0.50 for cheese on a hamburger, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  2. If your husband owns the exact number of shirts, underwear, and pairs of socks to make it through one cycle of laundry, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  3. If your husband knows the exact price per gallon of gas at every station in the entire city and drives 12 miles each way to pay the lowest price, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  4. If your husband price checks the “cost per ounce” on EVERY item in your grocery cart- whether there are 2 items or 200, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  5. If your husband honestly believes that life would be so much easier if the kids had a standardized dress code of black pants and shirts, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  6. If your husband spends 10 years not buying an Allen Wrench set because $18 is too much of a financial commitment, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  7. If your husband turns off the water to your house and turns the A/C off when you go out of town, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  8. If your husband asks if the retailer price matches Amazon when buying socks, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  9. If your husband takes the kitchen faucet from your previous house to install in your new house, you might have a cheapskate on your hands. *to be fair, that kitchen faucet is pretty amazing and I would have missed it if we left it behind*
  10. If your husband has ACTUALLY asked for a Poor Man’s Discount, you might have a cheapskate on your hands.
  11. If your husband keeps his old drink cups to get perpetual free refills, you might have a cheapskate on your hands. *This is not actually something Keith does but a habit of another cheapskate gentleman who is near and dear to my heart*
  12. If your husband displays all of these tendencies and still agrees to build your dream home with you, you might have a keeper on your hands.

There you have it! Have you married a cheapskate, too? What are the most extreme cost saving measures you have heard of?

*for anyone concerned about Keith’s feelings or opinion of this blog, please note that this topic was his idea. We came across inspiration when I mistakenly took him clothes shopping for the kiddos. Yes, he argued with an assistant manager over the fact that their sale sign was misleading. And yes, we did walk out of the store with 40% off our entire purchase. Bravo, bravo!*